She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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