There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
