I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
