We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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