I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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