I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We are all done wearing pants today
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
