He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize