I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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