so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
