My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
