Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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