I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
