Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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