i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
