a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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