She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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