so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Let's get the cat blown out
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
