I am puke
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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