I'm eating all of the evidence.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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