White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
