they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
