he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
