So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
