can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
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My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
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What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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