well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
