Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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