Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
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I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
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I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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