i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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