From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
