I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
