Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
