He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
