She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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