the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize