i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
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don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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