TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
