You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
