Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
