i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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