Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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