first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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