I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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