Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize