the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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