I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
