I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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