If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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