getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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