Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
