Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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