Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My feet surprised me
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
