well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize