Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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