So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
