You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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