Don't you send me to vm
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
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dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
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I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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