I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
