i barfeds in our rink
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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