just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
