Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
