This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Me too!
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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